Catholic Review of: ABC's Of Choosing A Good Husband

..but not so practical for those of us not so blessed to be born into ideal families.

 

I really appreciated this book when I first picked it up a few years ago. I read through it and became more and more convinced that I must be cursed to be remain ever-single. I finally put it down and over the following weeks sorted out the useful information from my emotional response. Ok, so there are red-flags - but let's address them so they are no longer red-flags to a potential spouse.  I have just re-read the book and the issues still stand. I would not recommend this book for anyone who comes from less than an ideal home - it will only encourage a feeling of despair.

 

The ABC's of Choosing a Good Husband is a practical, down-to-earth, easy-read from a father to his daughters on how to find a good man. It also shares information on how to be a good potential spouse. Many red-flags are listed such as dependence on alcohol and chemicals, lack of faith, etc.

 

Unfortunately, some of the red-flags, while *true*, come across as harsh and can make one feel as if there is no hope. A young man cannot help it if his parents divorced when he was an infant and his primary role models for married life growing up were two sets of grandparents who stayed married until the day they died. This means that for a potential spouse, the red-flag will be "broken home" - while the reality is that the man is balanced enough to depend more on learning from his grandparents than from his own parents (and to learn from mistakes of the parents and follow the example of the grandparents) - but the book entirely ignores this premise and would not even give that young man a chance. Period.

 

And what of the young ladies reading this book trying to find a good husband? It reads both directions. If *she* is from the broken home, she is the one left feeling like a potential marriage will never work because she is utterly stained. By-something-she-had-no-control-over.

 

Any church teaching is mostly right-on with this book, but the practical reality is that people from "broken homes" DO have the ability to live out a holy sacramental marriage. This book entirely ignores the sacramental graces God wishes to bestow on every couple who seek His ways first.

 

You can purchase The ABC's of Choosing a Good Husband at Aquinas and More Catholic Books.